


Immaculate Conception

by lamerezouille



Series: 25 days of Draco and Harry, 2011 [19]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-12
Updated: 2012-11-12
Packaged: 2017-11-18 12:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/561085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamerezouille/pseuds/lamerezouille
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p><b>Prompt:</b> <a href="http://i1209.photobucket.com/albums/cc385/sassy_cissa/19.jpg">This Christmas cracker! </a><br/> I deeply apologise to Remus Lupin for what I’m putting his son through.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Immaculate Conception

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt:** [This Christmas cracker! ](http://i1209.photobucket.com/albums/cc385/sassy_cissa/19.jpg)  
>   I deeply apologise to Remus Lupin for what I’m putting his son through.

‘Uncle Harry, where do babies come from?’

Harry stared at Teddy’s expectant face and glanced around the Weasleys’ living room, hoping for someone to come to his help or _at least_ for some kind of inspiration on how to answer the question.

He suddenly remembered being in Teddy’s shoes and being the one wondering about the origins of little human beings. Luckily enough, he’d been already seven then, and wise enough already not to ask Uncle Vernon. He didn’t want to imagine what _his_ answer would have been. No, he’d asked Mrs Figgs, and the old lady had chosen to answer with a creative use of her cats as a practical example. Harry had had weird dreams about kittens for months after that.

Teddy was only five, but he needed an honest enough answer. Harry hadn’t prepared for it at all, but it was his role as godfather to teach him about life, and so he would.

‘You see, Teddy, when two adults love each other very much, and they feel they’re ready for this big step, they choose to…’ Harry took a deep breath and went on, ‘they choose to _share_ something very intimate and that only belongs to them both and…’ Harry had a feeling Teddy was maybe not old enough to grasp the meaning of every word Harry’d chosen, but he didn’t really know how to say it without being overly graphic.

‘Is there like an explosion, then?’ Teddy asked with a too innocent voice.

‘Um, yes, you could say that. But, Teddy…’ _where does_ this _question come from?_ Harry wanted to ask.

He didn’t have time to react further though, as Teddy cut him off once again, ‘Is it what Cousin Draco and you were doing earlier?’

Harry froze. He had a brief flash of what Draco and him had been up to in the afternoon, while Teddy was in his care but certainly supposed to be _napping_. There’d been an explosion all right, and Harry just hoped with a gut-wrenching horror that Teddy hadn’t seen what Harry thought he’d seen.

God, he’d never again let Draco talk him into sex while Teddy was in the house. He was supposed to be a responsible adult after all. Who knew what Teddy’s dreams were going to be made of for the next few months? Harry would tell Andromeda he’d pay for the entirety of the cost of the child mind-healer as soon as he’d see her again. ‘What exactly are you talking about, Teddy?’ Harry asked warily.

‘Before, Draco and you, you were sharing this thing, right? You were both pulling…’ _Oh God_ , Harry thought, _Teddy just said “pulling”, burry me alive right away, please._ But Teddy wasn’t finished: ‘And then the cardboard exploded! Was there a baby in it, then?

A wave of relief washed over Harry so violently, he almost fell off his chair.

_A Christmas cracker_ , that’s what it was all about. Harry was in such a state, he wasn’t really able to form any coherent thought, so he just answered, ‘Yes, that’s it. Christmas crackers, that’s where babies come from. Only, for it to work, it has to be shared between a man and a woman, so Draco and I didn’t get a baby.’

Teddy smiled widely and ran towards Ron and Hermione who were just about to pull a cracker open.

Harry went in the kitchen right as he saw Hermione looking pointedly at him.

He certainly didn’t want to be part of _this_ conversation.


End file.
